The loss of our grandson Zaidyn has and will always sadden our hearts, bring us memories of joy, and cause us to question the very faith that we’ve followed most of our lives. As many of us prayed for the healing and curing of Zaidyn, we also all sat and watched as he would go from stable to worse, back to stable, and back to worse. We are faced with a choice, do we continue to hold true to our faith in God, or do we simply walk away from the only thing that has ever given us hope? I’ll answer this shortly.
We’ve asked ourselves time and time again, where was God when we needed him, and why didn’t he cure this child whom did no wrong? The answers have always been here for us, we were just too blinded by grief to look for them, and in some cases to accept them. We know that Jesus has countless accounts of healing various diseases and sicknesses, look at the accounts in [Matthew 9:35-36], not only did he also talk about the resurrection of the Daughter of Jairus [Mark 5:21-43] in a few versus up but he healed every sickness and every disease among the people.
Look also at [Matthew 9:28], Jesus asks the blind men, “Believe ye that I am able to do this?” Did we all believe that the Lord our God could do this for Zaidyn? Yes, but did we believe 100% I cannot attest to that with certainty. I myself was flawed in my own faith, only turning to God in moments like the one mentioned and turning away when everything was going well. Sure, I knew I could pray and that God would answer and I knew he could do it; I just questioned why he didn’t do it.
I started answering my first question above, my faith was wrong; my heart was not as it should’ve been. I know now that Zaidyn had a purpose here, that purpose may not be for me to know, but I do know it exists. I don’t blame God for what happened to Zaidyn because had he been here he would have certainly seen the grief and torture this it was causing in his mother’s heart and awakened him, just as he did when he raised The Young Man from Nain [Luke 7:11-17]. But we will have to wait for His return in order to be reunited again with our grandson.
I choose to believe, I want my faith to be stronger, and I know that by righting my heart and life that I will be blessed by God. My heart is at ease, my study today lasted for a few hours because I wanted God to take me by the hand and open up his word to me, he did.